Not Quite the End Yet
Graduate school is a long journey. It's so long that it's easy to forget that it might have begun and that it might yet end. When you're in the middle of it, you tend to lose sight of the bigger picture. It's hard to maintain a grander perspective when nothing in your day-to-day life is changing.
In fact, much of the time, I find myself suppressing thoughts of the "outside" simply because they distract me from getting stuff done. That's one reason why I find vacations so refreshing. Besides providing a simple break from work, they pull me out of my daily, task-oriented existence to remind me why I do the things that I do. Essentially, they remind me who I am.
The last few days, however, I've done something even more dangerous: I've dared to think about my life without graduate school around. I've thought about the future, not so much in a "what do I do with my career?" sort of way, but in the "what kind of lifestyle could I have?" way. Yeah, heady stuff, I know. :) The real danger is that it's damn appealing, maybe too much so.
I've been planning a tentative vacation to Europe for this summer, and in the process, realized that I don't have time to do everything I would like to do. While this is sad, the comfort is thinking that while I still have a significant chunk of work left to do in grad school, I am also within two years of my degree, probably somewhat less than that in reality. Once I leave Rice, it's not clear what I'll do, but one possibility is going to the Old World to live and work. Then, I'll be able to do all these things I only dream about fitting into a mere 2 week vacation.
I'll tell you what: after almost 5 years of telling people that I'm "not even close" to finishing and even though I'm still "not all that close to finishing," it is still incredibly refreshing to be able to even think about my life without factoring in grad school as a matter-of-fact. It's so appealing, in fact, that it becomes difficult to focus on the present challenges. And that, in a nutshell, is why those hopes and dreams are getting stuffed back in the box for a while longer.
In fact, much of the time, I find myself suppressing thoughts of the "outside" simply because they distract me from getting stuff done. That's one reason why I find vacations so refreshing. Besides providing a simple break from work, they pull me out of my daily, task-oriented existence to remind me why I do the things that I do. Essentially, they remind me who I am.
The last few days, however, I've done something even more dangerous: I've dared to think about my life without graduate school around. I've thought about the future, not so much in a "what do I do with my career?" sort of way, but in the "what kind of lifestyle could I have?" way. Yeah, heady stuff, I know. :) The real danger is that it's damn appealing, maybe too much so.
I've been planning a tentative vacation to Europe for this summer, and in the process, realized that I don't have time to do everything I would like to do. While this is sad, the comfort is thinking that while I still have a significant chunk of work left to do in grad school, I am also within two years of my degree, probably somewhat less than that in reality. Once I leave Rice, it's not clear what I'll do, but one possibility is going to the Old World to live and work. Then, I'll be able to do all these things I only dream about fitting into a mere 2 week vacation.
I'll tell you what: after almost 5 years of telling people that I'm "not even close" to finishing and even though I'm still "not all that close to finishing," it is still incredibly refreshing to be able to even think about my life without factoring in grad school as a matter-of-fact. It's so appealing, in fact, that it becomes difficult to focus on the present challenges. And that, in a nutshell, is why those hopes and dreams are getting stuffed back in the box for a while longer.
posted by Pascal Mickelson at
23:34
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home