Moments of Clarity

I have unusual moments of clarity when I'm well-rested. Since I almost never get lots of sleep, this isn't usually an issue. :) That said, in one such moment the other day, I figured out exactly what I want. I want to...

Actually, I'm kidding, at least about knowing what I want. However, moments of clarity do help me frame things differently. Dare I say, in more creative ways? For example, I find it easier to tackle daunting problems at work. If I'm tired, I try to solve a problem, in the same way, repeatedly. Something like, "hmmm, if I just do this one more time, maybe it'll work correctly...please?". It's really effective, let me assure you. Note: don't take me too seriously, as I have a bit of a sarcasm problem.

So, being well-rested means I only try something once if it doesn't work. That means I go for the next solution, which may or may not be a good one, sooner. If I keep going, then I get to a good (enough) solution more quickly. This reminds me of a blog post I read written by a top ultimate frisbee player on decision-making. He's quoting from a book on decision-making, but since I don't have the book and don't feel like going to buy it, I'm going to quote Jim Parinella on the subject directly:

Instead of making a list of options, detailing pluses and minuses of each approach before choosing the best, they [experts] simply consider the first good thing that comes to their minds and decide yes or no, moving on to the next thing if they reject the first idea.

This sounds an awful lot like what I do when I'm not tired. It's not to say that I'm an expert (I'm not in almost everything), but it is to say that I approach a problem more expertly when I am rested.

I like getting things to work because I feel like I've been productive, and being productive reinforces my self-worth. Do you have any idea how lethargic I feel when stuff isn't getting done? No matter what the explanation, even if it's something entirely out of my control, it saps my motivation because I don't feel competent. I don't feel like I'm contributing, and then I take myself "out of the game", in a manner of speaking. That is, I go and do something else that is more rewarding. In my current grad school world, this usually involves doing my dishes. ... ...

The bottom line for me is that resting adequately is really important. Sometimes, this is a realistic goal, and I simply have to be disciplined enough to go to bed at a decent hour. Other times, events are out of my control and it's midnight, 1 am, 5 am, etc... before I straggle back home and into my cold bed. One thing I know for sure is that those instances are not even close to being "moments of clarity".